Am I being rude to guys that try to approach me?

After ending a long term relationship, I found myself really enjoying my new found single life. I casually dated a few guys that turned out to be jerks, and I am afraid it has left me very cynical and with little faith in humanity. I go out all the time with my friends, but literally, I am out to be with them. Not to meet anyone.

I don't know if I come across as a b*tch, but if anyone I don't know tries to come up and hit on me at a bar I will either politely excuse myself, or if I am a bit more inebriated, tell them to get away from me. And if I see one of my girlfriends stuck by a creep, I will go up and tell him she doesn't want to talk to him.

My rule is, if one of my friends knows you and introduces us, I will talk to you. Because then at least I have some background on you, and hopefully my friends wouldn't introduce me to a creeper.

Is this being harsh or normal? Maybe I used to be too nice to guys.

Am I being rude to guys that try to approach me?
actually you sound a little cold to me sure you may not want to be approached but hello your in a night club . thats what guys and girls do their .if your happy being alone thats a good thing but dont take it out on all the poor saps that thought you might be reseptive to their advances kapisch !
Reply:Yes you are thanks for asking someone you do not know over the internet.
Reply:Don't worry it's totally normal.
Reply:I think that is pretty normal. I usually trust guys if they are introduced to me by a friend but I'm a little sketched out by talking to strange men. As long as you are dismissing them or yourself politely then its alright.
Reply:im the same honey, i wouldnt want to date a guy that tried to pick me up in a club. best if u know them a bit too!
Reply:Sounds like you are taking out your frustrations with the guys who 'turned out to be jerks' by being rude to strangers.



Ultimately unless you correct this attitude problem of yours, it could end up hurting you. You may tell Mr. Right to get away from you, instead of giving him the chance to show you he is Mr. Right.



I'm not saying that you need to talk to every stranger you meet, but being so blunt, and also making this decision for your friends, is just basic rudeness which could one day come back to haunt you. Do unto others as they say, and stop taking your anger out on random people that are not to blame for your past.
Reply:Its funny there are thousands of posts by women asking us men to approach them here in yahoo answers. (search "men don't approach me" ) We have this post now complaining men approach and the woman doesn't like it. Seems most women here agree with her too. I mean which one is it? What do you women want? Better yet don't answer I don't want to know. Its futile trying to figure you out anyway.

I approach a lot of women. Almost all of them are very smart socially and handle it intelligently. I know it also has to do with the way I approach and how I present myself too,. I find most women extremely intelligent in adapting the vibe and the topic I approach with. I like to lead and most are smart enough to know how to follow. Once every now and then I get cold shoulders from the get go and I know when to detect that and just split to then next eye candy. Cheers.
Reply:Yes, you're being rude...you could be a bit more diplomatic..instead of "she doesn't want to talk to you", you could say "hey, you know , this is supposed to be girls night...let her get your number and she'll call you if she wants to hang out another night"...or something that comes off as less ...snotty..?



Trust me...I am the same way...but I am no longer on the market so its fine for me to be like that...who am I trying to impress..? *lol*
Reply:Maybe it would help to consider if you walked up to a guy you were interested in, how would you like to be treated? It sounds like you're already behaving the way that you'd like to be treated, by politely excusing yourself or saying that you're not interested. Which are fine, in my opinion. Also, as far as I'm concerned, you're not required to give a reason, but if pressed, you can say whatever you want:

I'm not interested in dating right now.

I'm fresh off a break-up.

I've lost faith in humanity.



Or you can even say something funny to lighten the mood, like:

I only date purple dinosaurs.

I'm in a committed relationship with my dog, cat, fish, plant, car, computer, etc.

I would only be using you to get closer to my true love: _____ (fill in the blank with whichever celebrity or activity you think would be funny...maybe Goofy or basket-weaving.)



Yes, I know this might sound cheesy, but hey, maybe it gives you some options that are more comfortable. Obvsiously, we all find ourselves in situations where on the one hand, we're not interested and on the other hand, we don't want to come across as mean.



good luck!
Reply:Ok heres my answer i find in what you asked yes its alright but what if the person you've always been looking for turns out to be one of those creeps and you never gave them a chance then your totally screwed and you might not have another chance with him so really i think your being to harsh if your actually looking for a guy that you would like to date because you never know who your talking to till you know something about them.
Reply:I think you are still in the healing process, you got your heart broken and now you are trying to protect it from pain and that is what any normal person would do protect themselves and their loved ones from pain.
Reply:Sounds like you a being a bit of a cockblock to your friends. Just because you are still hurting dont assume they dont want to talk to guys....



Anyway, its normal to go through that after a break up, but I think you are being a bit harsh, you may meet a nice guy that one of you doesnt know, but you would miss out because of your rule--sounds to me like you arent ready to get back out there yet.
Reply:its natural. its instinctive.



dont live in fear for too long, you might be missing on a few fun things. but enjoy being single....dont let the mislead majority let you think you have to entertain guys again just because :)



good luck